You have to start somewhere

I have known for my entire sentient life that something about me was different. From the way I related to machines and people and how differently I perceived each one to wondering why I was so set in routines and obsessed with normalcy. Well, I think I am getting closer to an understanding.

Momma (my nickname for the wife) and I have been trying to distinguish what is causing some of the issues with Big Man's (our Boy) development and some of the odd behaviors both he and the Chicken (the girl) exhibit. As part of this, we have started a journey towards determining the scope of his Sensory Processing issues and working towards having him evaluated for Autism. If you know him, most of you will turn your brains off here and say there is no way that Big Man is autistic. Autism, however, is no longer limited to those who have completely withdrawn into themselves as thought previously. There is an entire spectrum of disorders today classified within the spectrum. I agree that Big Man is on the upper functioning end of the spectrum, but I want him to learn to fully cope before he is an adult. I feel very strongly that I can save him a lot of grief if we start teaching him to be human today.

You will ask why I feel so strongly about this and now I can actually tell you. I have been reading "Look Me in the Eye" and recommend it to anyone curious about how the aspie mind works. Through this, I have wondered whether I am an aspie myself because of the constant association with his seemingly demented thought processes and difficulty being normal. After this process and taking several on-line evaluations, I am confident that I too am an aspie. What this does it explain why I had to study active listening, sociology, and general human interaction to get where I am today. The road to this place is littered with broken relationships and I am sure a wave of people who thought I was an asshole, uncaring, or just generally weird. This also explains the way I look at computer systems and can do mathematical equations in my head.

From here I have to make a lot of decisions. Do I seek a diagnosis for myself? Will doing this help Big Man? Will it help me at all? Am I as well adjusted as I think I am (No!)? I am thankful for the people in my life that are still around and care for me. All this means is that you are all especially loving, caring, and most of all, weird, too. This is the beginning post of my journey through this. I hope you will follow along.